What tugs at my heart?

In the past six weeks this summer, I happily surprised myself with having read six novels, each averages 400 pages. I now have a head-start on my own reading challenge this school year.

All these six novels are Christian fictions by my favourite writers: Davis Bunn and Ted Dekker. I read Bunn's All Through the Night, My Soul to Keep, Ted Dekker's The circle Trilogy: Black, Red, White, and Showdown. Now, I am ready to delve into Dekker's Three.

All these novels have something in common: no matter how dark the plot turns, good always, always wins out in the end to God's credit. I feel so uplifted with having read them, particularly Dekker's portrayal of God's incomprehensible but victorious love for mankind.

It a neat thing what fiction writers are able to do! They depict unseen and unseeable concepts such as God's sacrificial love through the cross of Calvary, His immeasurable grace and forgiveness, His miraculous healing of hearts torn asunder, and God's triune nature and His three-in-one relationship and fellowship. These are not scriptural revelations, neither are they theological truths; nonetheless, these are the creative conjectures of inspired minds who help the readers to grasp highly ethereal notions in a tangible way.

What else tugs at my heart?

My friend Bill is dying of cancer, and he has just days to linger on this side of the Great Divide. I am glad that before he was totally overcome by his illness and while he was lucid, he accepted Christ as his personal Saviour. He is heading home where there is no more tears, pain, death and sorrow. He will be with his Maker and Saviour, the One who loves him so much.

Our youngest son Konrad has come home by Greyhound from BC for a week to be at his good friend's wedding. Only one week! I do not even know how to begin cherishing his presence. He has all his friends to visit and things to do. Then, he'll be heading back to Vancouver by Greyhound.

Konrad is getting married in January, and the family is going west to celebrate his nuptial at Christmas. Konrad mentioned that he and Bena might go to Hong Kong to teach EAL. That means, he may not be home at his birthplace anytime soon. That tugs at my heart.

Mikael and Erik's good friend, Willow decides to go on a journey to find herself. I am convinced that she is on a spiritual quest. I hope she find Jesus. As a matter of fact, I am certain she will ultimately encounter Him. But, on the first three hours of her journey to the USA, she was rudely turned back because she is young, single, looks unconventional with a shaven head, has no job nor home in Canada, and her newly purchased second-hand van was full of her belongings. She was refused entry into the USA because she was deemed a high risk for illegal stay in that country. That broke her spirit and tugged at my heart. Now, she is on her way to BC instead.

Mikael is till struggling with some of his mood swings, seemingly lost friendships, and the side-effect of medication. He struggles with social anxiety and depression. That tugs at my heart.

Erik just met a new girl friend. They seem seriously involved. I still miss Marita, Erik's former girl friend. Also, her step-dad, a very nice guy, unexpectedly passed away last month. That tugs at my heart.

Mons is doing very well in his university studies and his music creation. He will resign from a nice job from the school division. That also tugs at my heart.

Debbie is not doing that well health-wise. She lacks energy to perform a task. She experiences the occasional "melt-downs". That tugs at my heart.

There is so much I want to do everyday, and there seems to be so little time to accomplish what I would like to do. That tugs at my heart.

I want to do things and relate with my family, but, everybody has divergent foci and interests. Not being able to have as close and sustained a relationship with each member or with the entire unit truly tugs at the deepest recesses of my heart.

However, I am learning to let go of things that tug at my heart into the hands of the One who is absolutely sovereign and more than able and capable to satisfy the deepest yearnings of one's soul.